17 May 2012

Womanhood?

Barren?
Today is the last day of my child bearing years. I am gutted, but don't want any more kids, so what's the problem, you may well ask?

I think I will feel less of a woman. Truth be told, even at the thought of it, I already do.

The other option is to keep keeling over.  Rumour has it I won't need my periods any longer, being 48 now, because, supposedly, all the blood is going to be required for my new varicose veins.  Oh yes -like I'm to expect hormonal changes that reduce the hairs on my legs growing, so that plenty of fresh ones can sprout on my face!

Great.  Someone shoot me now.   

On the other hand - no more kids?  Yippee!!!  No more disturbed nights?  Thank. The.  Lord.

The boys are well pre teenage years for when you're lying awake worrying and waiting for them to come home, so do let me enjoy my moment, please.

With so much to look forward to ...er....yikes(!)... it makes me wonder if any woman ever feels ready?
It is a rite of passage we must all endure in middle age, but I feel about 30.   

Later on, I am off to hospital for an op. which will render me sterile and I am sad, regardless of the liberty that will be forthcoming.   My wonderful partner was 'done' years ago, so why is it bothering me so much?

Apparently, also, it's hard to reason with a peri-menopausal person, but I'm much too young to buy into any of that baloney yet.