OK, so we got bored some of the time on these long Summer Holidays - or should I say 'Summer Lollydays?' - but aren't they some of the best bits? Don't they produce genius moments, not having to be anywhere at a set time or with anyone in particular, so the mind is free to roam?
This is what happens when said such minds belong to three and seven year old mischevous brothers who choose to re-name the days of our week:
We start with FUNday,
followed by GUNday,
Tuesday becomes CHOOSY day - definitely NOT FUNday -
then WEDGIE day.
'WEDGIE day?' I hear you ask.
As did I.
Prepare to be initiated.
For those of you who have been spared sons or sons who scrape the barrell re-naming days of the week just for a laugh - and there were many, many of those on their part with this very favourite term of theirs - a WEDGIE is when you wedge someones underwear up their bottom by pulling it upwards, preferably, it would seem, quite forcibly and by surprise!
Obviously it's something that can happen by accident on its own anyhow and we've all suffered them at some point in our lives and had to discreetly sort out THE SITUATION, but this isn't what was making them fall about the floor helplessly with their heroic idea. Oh no. It was mum's naivete and the having to explain it in mortifying yet positively gleeful detail.
It is traditionally a practical joke, I learned, when googling the definitve meaning and, worse, there are several versions making the 'Simple' one look attractive!
There's the Swimsuit one, the wet / Water Bomb ones (spray first with a hose / plant a
water bomb down the pants before 'wedging'), a frontal one (double Ouch!), a Lift Wedgie - where you lift the person by their underpants too and the High Flyer one where you can go so far as hanging someone by them - on a hook, or a doorknob, or even a flagpole is suggested.
Don't we live in interesting times?
I wasn't even going to mention the Mexican Wedgie that involves pouring hot sauce down pants first, let alone the fried egg one, because we seem to be straying into rather different territory there, but it seems rude not to share my new found knowledge with other mums i.e. Mums with sons or Mums with children who watch TV, which it transpires is where the original notion was gleaned from. And shouldn't we all be aware of the PEDGIE - which involves the penis and a wedgie?
You see we need the upper hand, we uninitiated mums. Forewarned is forearmed.
I won't be rewarding my children with all the extra information here. I shall appreciate their innocence from hereonin and stick to their word games.
I will laugh with them now about WEDGIE day, despite wishing I'd never heard the word and learned its new found associations. I will encourage them to play with their soft toys on FURRYday and FRIED EGGday, will have to be re-named plain FRYday from this moment onwards for obvious reasons. Lastly, we will continue our debate on the NATTERday vs. FATTERday options and try to get out more.
Boys. Don't you just love 'em?
What did your children invent in these lovely long 'Summer Lollydays?'