29 December 2011

New Year, New Everything?

Our New Year's Day Walk 2011.

This time last year, I was a single mum and happy about it. New Year's Day was spent walking by the seafront with my two gorgeous young boys, me mentally giving thanks for my life.

Not in a sad way, I hadn't been unwell or anything.  Not physically, anyway, but mentally I had been battered, that's for sure.

My husband was a famous International Sportsman and quite a bully, looking back. He played Rugby for Wales, captained the Barbarians and generally thought himself a marvellous bloke.  He'd had me convinced for a few years too.

Then reality slowly, but sure as eggs is eggs, dawned.  That he wasn't at all marvellous.

In fact, he was a pig.

Anyway, my divorce yet to finalise, but well in its throes and his hold on me less and less as the months continued and my recovery underway on January 1st, the powers that be would have been surprised to hear me rattle off a whole list of sincere and big thankyous - for the peaceful existence we were now able to lead, the fun we could have without anyone's temper looming over us, the maintenance money he (then) paid (see here for what happened when he stopped!), our health, our ability to come and go as we pleased, our friends who had been (and remain still) serious lifelines, even just for having each other and time with other family members over Christmas, the glorious weather and the sleeping baby, giving the gift of rare one-on-one stuff with my eldest son, then only five, having seen and heard things he never should have and who needed the space we were encountering, also, to recover.

As our walking continued and the sun smiled down on us, so did the Fates. I didn't ask for much that day. It's kind of a New year ritual of mine to give thanks for the kindnesses, blessings and progress during the previous year and set out 'intentions' for the next. I think it was generally work related - something to do with writing, but it would be difficult to pinpoint exactly what, now. I certainly never mentioned the 'L' or 'B' ('Love' or 'Blogging') words!  They simply did not occur to me.

But in 2011 - unheralded and unexpectedly, the powers that be rewarded me for my patience, perseverance and courage and sent me Love in the form of a lodger, someone whose presence was forced upon us (see above), who the children and I already knew as a friend and for whom resistance would prove completely futile giving rise to my The Landlady is a Tramp post!

So this year, he has changed our lives completely with his presence, is a comfort and joy to me, and I am undoubtedly a more content mum for that, which only benefits the boys, surely?

Robson is now six and a half and 'Baby' Aiden will be three in April. I think I deserve something for me and the Fates have seemingly decreed so!

Blogging has been a wonderful surprise this year as well.  To 'meet' and engage with so many like minded people has been an absolutely divine pleasure - something else for me and I can't quite believe either of things have happened, let alone both!

So whatever 2012 holds for you, whenever you are feeling overwhelmed with 'stuff' and find yourself suffering  or, indeed, suffocating under it all, especially if you are a parent  - and not necessarily a single one - it is entirely possible that 'someone in the great somewhere hears every word.' May there be an incredible surprise or two in store for you too!

What's next, I wonder, for us all?




  1. A very encouraging post. Shows how much things can change in your life for the positive. What incredible strength of character you must have. Enjoy 2012 - you deserve it!
    Jane Isaac

  2. I believe, I believe... you never know what's just around the corner. Thank you for this inspiring post xx.

  3. So glad to hear your year has been an improving one. Long may it continue.

  4. Thank you ladies. And long may your writing careers continue too!X

  5. Lovely to hear a happy ending. Wishing you all the very best for 2012

  6. Thank you. I didn't really see it as an ending - perhaps a beginning?! But obviously a happy ending to 2011. All the best to you.X

  7. Wow that is such an honest, heartwarming and encouraging piece, may you continue to feel peace and happiness for 2012 x

  8. Thank you for this post, I can relate to a lot of the points (except for the amazing lodger:)) and it's encouraging to know that there may be light at the end or middle of the tunnel. Here's to new beginnings & happiness in 2012!

  9. Thank you for your good wishes. Glad you enjoyed it and hope you see the light any day now! X

  10. I agree you never know what's around the corner! I like to look back at certain times of the year and see how things have changed. Love your post and so pleased that some more good things have come into your life.

  11. What an incredible journey you have travelled over such a short period of time. May life continue to take you in the same direction it seems to have been leading you over the last few months. :)

  12. Polly, (caughtwriting), thank you for your kindness. It's important to take stock and see the progress, isn't it? Good for you x

  13. Misha, thank you for putting it that way and for your kind wishes. Congratulations on your new job at LNB. X

  14. Happy New Year. Inspired reading. Sounds like 2011 was a very transformational year for you and your boys. Hope 2012 proves to be a great year for you all.X

  15. Happy New Year to you too. Hope 2012 brings you everything your heart desires, foxy woman!

  16. My comments seem to have disappeared from here!! Bizarre!

    Anyway, just to let you know there's an award for you over on mine. No obligation!!

    Hope it brings you more traffic. :)