29 December 2011

New Year, New Everything?

Our New Year's Day Walk 2011.

This time last year, I was a single mum and happy about it. New Year's Day was spent walking by the seafront with my two gorgeous young boys, me mentally giving thanks for my life.

Not in a sad way, I hadn't been unwell or anything.  Not physically, anyway, but mentally I had been battered, that's for sure.

My husband was a famous International Sportsman and quite a bully, looking back. He played Rugby for Wales, captained the Barbarians and generally thought himself a marvellous bloke.  He'd had me convinced for a few years too.

Then reality slowly, but sure as eggs is eggs, dawned.  That he wasn't at all marvellous.

In fact, he was a pig.

Anyway, my divorce yet to finalise, but well in its throes and his hold on me less and less as the months continued and my recovery underway on January 1st, the powers that be would have been surprised to hear me rattle off a whole list of sincere and big thankyous - for the peaceful existence we were now able to lead, the fun we could have without anyone's temper looming over us, the maintenance money he (then) paid (see here for what happened when he stopped!), our health, our ability to come and go as we pleased, our friends who had been (and remain still) serious lifelines, even just for having each other and time with other family members over Christmas, the glorious weather and the sleeping baby, giving the gift of rare one-on-one stuff with my eldest son, then only five, having seen and heard things he never should have and who needed the space we were encountering, also, to recover.

As our walking continued and the sun smiled down on us, so did the Fates. I didn't ask for much that day. It's kind of a New year ritual of mine to give thanks for the kindnesses, blessings and progress during the previous year and set out 'intentions' for the next. I think it was generally work related - something to do with writing, but it would be difficult to pinpoint exactly what, now. I certainly never mentioned the 'L' or 'B' ('Love' or 'Blogging') words!  They simply did not occur to me.

But in 2011 - unheralded and unexpectedly, the powers that be rewarded me for my patience, perseverance and courage and sent me Love in the form of a lodger, someone whose presence was forced upon us (see above), who the children and I already knew as a friend and for whom resistance would prove completely futile giving rise to my The Landlady is a Tramp post!

So this year, he has changed our lives completely with his presence, is a comfort and joy to me, and I am undoubtedly a more content mum for that, which only benefits the boys, surely?

Robson is now six and a half and 'Baby' Aiden will be three in April. I think I deserve something for me and the Fates have seemingly decreed so!

Blogging has been a wonderful surprise this year as well.  To 'meet' and engage with so many like minded people has been an absolutely divine pleasure - something else for me and I can't quite believe either of things have happened, let alone both!

So whatever 2012 holds for you, whenever you are feeling overwhelmed with 'stuff' and find yourself suffering  or, indeed, suffocating under it all, especially if you are a parent  - and not necessarily a single one - it is entirely possible that 'someone in the great somewhere hears every word.' May there be an incredible surprise or two in store for you too!

What's next, I wonder, for us all?