27 September 2012

Rumpy-Pumpy!


Innocently, a friend asked this question and my heart sank before either of us had answered:

When are your MRI scan results due?'

You see, we didn't know if it was directed at my partner or me.

That's middle-age for you.  The fact I feel about thirty - and I know I keep saying so - like it might re-wind the many, many years in between then and now - doesn't make me thirty any more.  Nor my man. 

We were stood side by side and a dawning realization that our friend could have asked either of us made us give a wry smile to each other and I made some light-hearted joke about romance at our age, yet the reality was - and is and remains - that we're not getting any younger and these sort of conversations creep up on you.

He has a chronic Sciatica problem and I have a torn cartilage in my knee.  Honestly, middle-aged Rumpy-Pumpy can be more like a rampant game of Naked Twister.

We never the leave the house without a stock of painkillers.  Not to mention detailed plans of all the nearest loos, by the way - not for the three year old, but for me.  Yet despite much younger ladies than me occupying Tena territory, it is something that - as yet - thankfully eludes me.  [I know you really wanted to know that!]. 

So our rather fledgling relationship is being put to the test.  We're both a bit embarrassed about these things arriving on the scene, aware that a partnership of twenty or so years of commitment might find them challenging.  However, by now, we're also of the 'take it or leave it' frame of mind that comes with being worn out older and wiser.   

You see, by our age, you would think that men and women would be nice and settled with their kids gone, not crippled up with two energetic young children about.  By rights, a man might feel he's done his bit and it's time for some peace and all a woman might ever want in the world (as well as to be able to eat and drink anything she pleases and it not make her fat and to go to bed early with her man, a baking electric blanket and a good book) is to not be on crutches.

Plus what they both definitely would like is to not have cancelled their Private Health Insurance, having paid it for years and never needed it, just at the age they do! 




Anyone?






19 comments:

  1. Oh what a fun read - you are such an entertaining writer. I know what you mean though, I had Bupa for 6 years and never used it.
    You're not on crutches are you chick?? :-(
    I know the feeling about being an older mum; I often think I could cope with Aaron better if I was a decade younger (40 is around the corner) but that is one of the reasons I have taken up juicing, to try and drink some energy into me.

    Great blog post.

    You still haven't told me about your Kundalini experience ;-)

    Thanks for stopping by my blog btw.

    Liska x

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  2. Thank you so much Liska. Was just catching up on yours and subscribed. I'm on and off crutches but mostly OK. You just need a new husband! Will e mail you XXX

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  3. I had my last surprise baby at far too great an age. People always say "OH, he'll keep you young" but no, it's sometimes quite the opposite. When I get down on the floor to play something, it has to be a really good game; both of us need to like it as it's gonna be a while before I get back up!

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  4. You strike me as a woman that is ever resourceful..in all departments! On the subject of Tena...did you know they sponsor a free app for iphones now with all sorts of exercises to help with that matter. Something at odds with owning an iphone and having that app on it I think!

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    1. Ha ha. No I didn't know, having not entered that world yet but I agree that they don't seem compatable!

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    2. Unfortunately for me with the advent of baby no 2...I've had to download it!

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    3. That made me laugh! Keep up with those exercises!

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  5. Really enjoyed this! I just had images of bags stuffed with pain killers and toilet maps! I hope its going well between you both. I will never see a game of Twister in quite the same light again. X.

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    1. You see you call yourself 'Older Mum,' but you ain't one really, are you? ;))

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  6. As an older mother myself, I have notice with regret that the younger mothers are far more willing to get down on the floor and play with the children. And it's not just the knees, my bottom just isn't comfortable on the floor anymore.

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    1. And it's the getting back up again that's such an ordeal - let alone with a leg that can't bend!

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  7. This did make me smile. We are of the same vintage - 30 in our heads!!!
    As yet no health issues for me. OH on the other hands - always something he's complaining about. Maybe I should put him out to grass!
    Bitt rude of the friend to ask though.

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    1. We are indeed kindred spirits Gemma. I do wonder about the trading in for a younger model, but don't think I could take the pressure! ;) Am off to belatedly subscribe to your blog X

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  8. That's hilarious. I hope you both gave her very lengthy answers. Alex has a bad back and I've got a dodgy neck. For a month I had to sleep in our spare room as we both needed our own space and kept funny hours trying to get comfy with our various ailments. It was a bit of a wake up call really and we've both been seeking treatment. Well done on not being on the Tena, I think you deserve a medal! Have a good weekend without aches and pains and much toilet availability. xxx

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    1. Oh dear. Poor you two. Must be all that time sailing in the Summer. That'll teach you! And I had you in mind when I wrote about Tena territory ;)You've had me in stitches with your references at exercise classes!

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  9. LOL!! I am also of the same vintage with a young child in tow and I am well known for convincing her she needs the loo when in fact it's actually me!! This post gave me a real laugh - thank you for that!! We are going through the adoption process again and will have another younger child at home soon and I wonder how the hell I'm going to find the energy some days - let alone play naked twister!!!

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    1. You made me laugh too. It must be v exciting to be having another child soon - that might help give you the inclination for a game or two! X

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  10. Lol this was a very apt read as we were only having this conversation the other day! Imaginative 'positions' are proving more difficult these days with me having scoliosis and him having arthritis in his neck! A right old pair....this did make me chuckle! X

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