18 September 2014

My Beautiful, Darling Boys.

Just off the Greek Island of Lemnos.  Don't mind if we do, thank you!
Although it seems ages ago now, we had a lovely summer break - lots of activity and a few trips away - one close to home for a gorgeous wedding, one on a ferry trip to Jersey, yet to write up and even another one unexpectedly abroad, which meant a very exciting first flight on an aeroplane for the youngest and no sleep for any of us for a night at Heathrow Airport because of the racket, before we lifted off ourselves, but that's all still to come and it's actually related to the blog and a new drive for single parent holidays (Hooray!).

Great as it is to watch what other people are getting up to via their on line feeds, I took a decision to be getting on with our own lives rather than be a spectator of others' and to give the kids my attention rather than endure the behaviour that seeks it and turns me into a frazzled wreck.  I wanted to enjoy them whilst they still want me.

It's simply unbelievable how quickly the time comes around that they don't, even to just sit on our laps anymore.  My eldest is now nine years old and it has flown.  He is far more independent than he used to be, sticks his head in a book and refuses to play 'Headbanz,' won't kiss me at the school drop off, preferring to be 'cool' and I am left feeling abandoned and even more dejected than is par for the course - which, FYI, is plenty!

He is such a brave little soul, a bit 'adultized' according to the agency supporting him with our current court proceedings, but who can blame him when he is forced to stand up to his father about stuff he quite clearly remembers and his dad denies has ever happened?  He holds his ground, gripping defiantly and tightly to the truth in his heart and, although this is a sad, sorry state of affairs, he makes me incredibly proud.

He loves to show off his newly hairier legs, while I will struggle to tear my eyes away from his face to marvel at them, so handsome he is becoming.  His jawline is firmer and I can almost see the man he will be.  He is kind, gentle and funny - a beautiful soul and spirit.  He takes my breath away and, even though my friends tell me their kids of a similar age are also awfully grown up, we're making a point of more child-like play, being silly and pretending, keeping him as young as possible for as long as possible.

The other one is no longer a maniacal three year old, but a totally crazy five year old cheeky chappie. Quite different. Also funny, and a real charmer.  One day, if I play our cards right (and if the stress hasn't killed me), he will make millions from performing or sport or both.  But he will choose his own path, because, having been born seemingly more switched on than both his brother and me put together, he always has!

I look at the length of him when he's sleeping and wonder what happened to my baby.  He's in his hand-me-downs a year earlier than they're designed for and complains vociferously about not choosing his own stuff so we have to go shopping in addition to him having the eldest's clothes.  He has been particular about what he wears or doesn't since before he could talk, when he just used to point to all the stripy things or pout if his particular choice was in the wash.  He has always been the loudest child in the room, but is a darling and he makes me very proud as well.

My beautiful, amazing, brilliant, darling boys, how I love you both.  Thank you for our super 2014 summer.

Mummy (while I can still say that instead of Mum!),

XXX

42 comments:

  1. Oh they do grow up fast don't they? Sounds like you have 2 boys to be proud of x

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  2. This post has given me the most painful lump in my throat. The love just pours out of this post in buckets. Your boys are incredibly honoured to have you and as you them. I glad your lives are so full of love to cancel out t'other stuff. Shame on him that his son has to remind him of his old misbehaviour. Kids know wrong from right. Shame can't be said of all adults. He needs to start being a Dad and stop being a thorn in everyone's side and I hope he's reading this xxxxx

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    1. Bless you. The longer it goes on, the more they see for themselves - which is for the best. He's never going to get it and I hope he never reads this! Thank you for such a lovely comment xxxx

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  3. Hold on to them and hug them while you can, they grow far too quickly. But having said that, as long as they are decent men they will always love you, and once they get over their embarrassing school years they will let you hug and kiss them again.
    Joy x x

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  4. This post has brought a lump to my throat! I too am amazed I now have a 5-year old. He was my baby in what seems like just 5 minutes ago. Time is just whizzing past but I agree, it is good to take a step back and really enjoy them while they are still happy to hang out with us. Lovely post Anya xx

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  5. As you know I missed you. I think you took entirely the right decision. It is good to step back, so easy to stick your head in the internet and loose perspective. They grow so fast - you have beautifully captured where you all are now. X

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  6. You boys are wonderful because they have an amazing mum to love, and care for them, Well done to you Anya - your wee men are a credit to you xx

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    1. Oh thank you, you sweetheart. You've seen them at their best, probably! ;) X

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  7. Beautiful, and such a similar stage mine to mine too. I have a feeling we could be in trouble if they ever all got together - but I'd love it if we could!

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  8. Oh Anya, this is beautiful. You're right, time does fly x

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  9. Thank you Jean - and you know that more than I do! X

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  10. I've met them and know how very wonderful they are. And that, my lovely, is down to their mother. It's all thanks to you. xx

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    1. That's a lovely sentiment Tania thank you, but I think it's all down to them just being themselves :) xx

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  11. Beautiful post Anya, I missed you too over the summer, well towards the end when I came back online and noticed you weren't there. I too decided to step back and I'm so glad I did. Life is too short to spend any other way than with them. Huge hugs to you xxx

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    1. Thank you Mari. It's nice to be missed! Hugs to you too :) xxx

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  12. They sound fab. Lovely post, Anya. :)

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    1. I'm really surprised by people's take on this - but thank you Sarah! You know that living with two boys is really demanding and I know one of yours has already up and left and you must be very proud too :) x

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  13. I can see that they will grow up with happy and loving memories of a wonderful mum who cherishes them. You might think you're lucky, but so are they. A lovely little family xxx

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  14. What an absolutely lovely post Anya. Just as you are proud of them, I hope they are as proud of you.

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    1. Thank you Joanne! Er, kind of, I think?!

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  15. Beautiful post and I agree 100%, it's time to enjoy our kids as before we know it they won't want us around. I'm sorry to hear about your eldest going through such a tough time with his dad, he sounds like an incredibly strong and brave boy.

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    1. Thank you - I didn't mean it to come out like that, but he is!

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  16. Good for you for stepping back and enjoying the summer with your boys..... you have two terrific boy, and should be rightfully very proud. It's all down to your hard work you know! :o). X

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    1. I should have said about meeting up with you and Jenny - also highlights! And I can't take any credit - it's all them, but thank you anyway :) xx

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  17. I've read this post twice now and both times I've had a lump in my throat. I love the photo of you all on the boat - you all look so happy - I'm so glad you got to get away this summer and have a Greek adventure. Your boys sound amazing. xx

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    1. I honestly don't understand these lumps in throats, but am touched as a result, thank you. I was just having a bit of a catch up chat in my heart! They are amazing though, as are all children I would say, but thank you :) xx

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  18. Beautiful post about your beautiful boys. That holiday in Greece looks idyllic and you look so relaxed and happy. Wishing you a wonderfully successful school year for all of you. xxx

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    1. Thank you R. The holiday was unexpected and fab and will be filling you in shortly! X

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  19. What a beautiful post, it brought tears to my eyes. I am sorry that your boy has had to be so grown up, but please you have nurtured him enough for him to be strong. Sounds like you are doing a fantastic job enough for two parents and glad you all had a lovely summer x

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  20. What a lovely post full of your love for your gorgeous boys, Anya. Very happy you had such a nice summer and that photo of you and your sons is just beautiful. :) xx

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  21. Oh my goodness, yes I can relate to this. The time goes even quicker when they reach double figures but, rest assured, the love and joy from your boys will never end. Make the most of every opportunity as they will be flying the nest, like mine, before you know it.

    Let me know when you post about your holidays xx

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    1. Oh that doesn't bear thinking about Trish, but thank you. They drive me mad while they're here but I wouldn't have it any other way. Yes, I'll let you know x

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  22. Awww, Anya, just beautiful. Your boys are very lucky to have you. xxx

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    1. Thank you Emma. I feel more lucky to have them! xxx

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