18 September 2014

My Beautiful, Darling Boys.

Just off the Greek Island of Lemnos.  Don't mind if we do, thank you!
Although it seems ages ago now, we had a lovely summer break - lots of activity and a few trips away - one close to home for a gorgeous wedding, one on a ferry trip to Jersey, yet to write up and even another one unexpectedly abroad, which meant a very exciting first flight on an aeroplane for the youngest and no sleep for any of us for a night at Heathrow Airport because of the racket, before we lifted off ourselves, but that's all still to come and it's actually related to the blog and a new drive for single parent holidays (Hooray!).

Great as it is to watch what other people are getting up to via their on line feeds, I took a decision to be getting on with our own lives rather than be a spectator of others' and to give the kids my attention rather than endure the behaviour that seeks it and turns me into a frazzled wreck.  I wanted to enjoy them whilst they still want me.

It's simply unbelievable how quickly the time comes around that they don't, even to just sit on our laps anymore.  My eldest is now nine years old and it has flown.  He is far more independent than he used to be, sticks his head in a book and refuses to play 'Headbanz,' won't kiss me at the school drop off, preferring to be 'cool' and I am left feeling abandoned and even more dejected than is par for the course - which, FYI, is plenty!

He is such a brave little soul, a bit 'adultized' according to the agency supporting him with our current court proceedings, but who can blame him when he is forced to stand up to his father about stuff he quite clearly remembers and his dad denies has ever happened?  He holds his ground, gripping defiantly and tightly to the truth in his heart and, although this is a sad, sorry state of affairs, he makes me incredibly proud.

He loves to show off his newly hairier legs, while I will struggle to tear my eyes away from his face to marvel at them, so handsome he is becoming.  His jawline is firmer and I can almost see the man he will be.  He is kind, gentle and funny - a beautiful soul and spirit.  He takes my breath away and, even though my friends tell me their kids of a similar age are also awfully grown up, we're making a point of more child-like play, being silly and pretending, keeping him as young as possible for as long as possible.

The other one is no longer a maniacal three year old, but a totally crazy five year old cheeky chappie. Quite different. Also funny, and a real charmer.  One day, if I play our cards right (and if the stress hasn't killed me), he will make millions from performing or sport or both.  But he will choose his own path, because, having been born seemingly more switched on than both his brother and me put together, he always has!

I look at the length of him when he's sleeping and wonder what happened to my baby.  He's in his hand-me-downs a year earlier than they're designed for and complains vociferously about not choosing his own stuff so we have to go shopping in addition to him having the eldest's clothes.  He has been particular about what he wears or doesn't since before he could talk, when he just used to point to all the stripy things or pout if his particular choice was in the wash.  He has always been the loudest child in the room, but is a darling and he makes me very proud as well.

My beautiful, amazing, brilliant, darling boys, how I love you both.  Thank you for our super 2014 summer.

Mummy (while I can still say that instead of Mum!),