5 November 2015

Ruddy Glitter and Ruddy Glue.

It all happened quite spontaneously.

There was a mountain of various bits of cardboard cr*p behind the kitchen door - empty egg cartons, kitchen roll holders, shoe boxes and a few of the students' empty ruddy Pringles crisps tubes. (The children aren't allowed them - have you seen the ingredients on those things?!).

And within minutes of me expressing a desire to shift some of it to the recycling bin, there was ruddy glitter and ruddy glue, ruddy everywhere.

Am I the only woman in the world who hates craft?

The eldest had been given a school project to make a Space Landscape.  Even we could cope with that scope, it would be reasonable to have thought - espcially with the six weeks notice we'd been given, which meant we couldn't even get out of it by whining about not being given enough time.

Gah!

So we'd been collecting cardboard cr*p all this time, very little of which he wished to use when the time came to get our craft on.

Suddenly, pale blue felt was required, together with coloured card and acrylic paints, stuff that can't be found in this house, sorry.

We argued about what constitutes craters and (him) why a loo roll holder (which we hadn't collected) was better that a kitchen roll one, but it was his call and it all had to fit inside one shoe box, so why couldn't I recycle the rest?!

He had quite a set, but brilliant, idea in his mind but neither of the poor boys realise their mother is cr*p at craft.  The only thing I'm capable of sticking on is a smile and some fake bonhomie.  We paint and draw and colour, but that's my limit and, on this particular occasion, we were supposed to be going swimming.

We never made it.

But we did make this without any major falling out or forking out on stuff which will enforce further craft hell in future.


craft, space craft, rocket,
Ruddy craft. His space project. 
It's amazing what you can find when you put your mind to it, isn't it?  We sourced unused star stickers for reward charts (which tells you a bit about their behaviour lately!) and cut up a black sparkly gift bag.  We used UHU and sellotape instead of what probably should have been a Pritt stick (because we don't own one, so shoot me now) and found a make-your-own-sock-puppet pack that had never been opened (surprise!) which shed glitter all over the place, but gave us something to gather up and glue down to make some sky.

There was some weird alien looking tissue paper that had come with someone's shoes one day, which I'd kept, knowing we had this coming up and we nicked some play-doh legs off something or other.

And, naturally, as soon as we'd got cracking, the youngest decided he wanted to torture me too, because he needed to make a rocket and a landscape as well.  Simultaneously, obviously, and to the same spec. with identical materials.,

We never made that either.

If we'd planned it, instead of putting it off and, perhaps, done it on the protected dining table instead of getting glitter within the grooves of the kitchen floor (which isn't such a bad look to be honest!) and been more patient with each other, because we weren't rushing to get on with what we'd originally said we were going to do, then they might have enjoyed it so much they'd want to do it again.

So all's well that ends well!

It was fun, but not that much fun ;)

16 comments:

  1. I hate it when homework is a craft project. DD has art twice a week in school - this is quite enough craft time imo, we don't need to do it at home as well.

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    1. I can always look to you for some solidarity, thank you! :)

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  2. What a perfect rocket and space scene! I think that craft projects are the secret weapon that teachers use when they want to really wind up parents. I always get bamboozled into buying all sorts of specialist stuff then when we get home I realise we already have a drawer full of the same from last time. I'm taking inspiration from you and the next project will be entirely made from things we already have. X

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    1. Ah, he did a great job didn't he? Thank you? So glad to be an inspiration re craft. There's a sentence no-one will ever have expected to hear or see lol! Honestlly, it became quite fun and am so glad they are not 'inspired' (read encouraged) to carry on! #BadMother

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  3. I am a can't cook won't cook, can't craft won't craft type of person, BUT funnily enough Mums were invited to go into school today from 9-10 to make hats with our kids and it went very well. But I love the humour in this post - brilliant xxx

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    1. You always seem to be doing lovely things with your LO though! Outside is much nicer than at home! xx

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  4. Nope. Well I have a love hate relationship with it. I love it if I can do it and it turns out to be something that shouldn't go straight back into recycling but I don't like the mess and chaos it causes. Glitter is soooo annoying, it gets everywhere and you cannot get rid of it for months! That is a great job thoug, I am impressed, we have to do a castle soon and it is worrying me to death.

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    1. I don't feel so bad now, thank you! We don't have much glitter in the house re the boys' aversion to it and it is a pain. All in all, my dread of the event was worse than the actuality but good luck with that castle and all the cr*p you'll be collecting to make it! :)

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  5. I was never good at crafts either. I used to like helping with Lego and construction toys but messy glue stuff not so good. Thankfully Rory did most of his art and DT in school hours!
    I think you all did brilliantly.

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    1. This is so reassuring, thank you - and thank you for your kind words. Yes, thank heavens for school stuff! X

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  6. My heart used to sink when my daughters wanted to do crafts - the glue and glitter used to get everywhere! There's still some glitter embedded in the dining table, it's been there for over 10 years and I can't get it out :(
    Your son's space project is great though, you did good!

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    1. Oh goodness. Glad I'm not alone, as I say, and am not sure I could get away with so little if I had girls as they seem to be more inclined? Both the boys seem to love art and craft but because they're not used to much at home, they don't seem to expect it. They seem to need exercise and feeding, like dogs, mainly! xx

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  7. I feel your pain. I hate craft projects with a passion. I have NO imagination whatsoever and as I try to minimise mess I become a control freak, hovering over my daughter, to fruitlessly try to ensure my surfaces and carpet remain clean/ish.
    Can't we enforce a ban? I am good with other types of play, or reading and even venture to the park/open countryside to earn my Mummy stripes!

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  8. You did well, R's model looks excellent but yes I'm with you the black bag of junk modelling that we have to collect every so often drives me crazy and frankly I just hie the glitter! Mich x

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  9. It turned out well considering all the trauma you went through! I also loathed any craft-related project that came into our house as it tended to be done late, the evening before it was due in by me. I found that a glass of wine often helped to diffuse my frustration... you might want to try that next time?

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  10. I quite like these types of projects, which is why I made the boys Halloween costumes. But not everyone likes these. It's a chance for me to get back to my art years. You both did an amazing job x

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