22 September 2011

The Gynaecologist's.

So there I was at the gynaecologist's a while ago, legs akimbo, discussing the merits of BP cuts vs. the Government's simultaneous cutbacks on staff and spending in the NHS and how attempting the two together is against what they could achieve.  Hey Ho.

In the meanwhile he is checking out why a picture of my insides is not hitting the computer screen in front of him and reaching down to ensure cables are plugged in tight, this way and that and the probe inside me is going this way and that too.  It is years since my vagina had seen such action and I didn't like to say how uncomfortable this whole palaver was making me, so carried on grinning politely, really trying to enjoy the intellectual conversation, as he became increasingly distracted, confused and distressed and my insides took a bashing.

Eventually he gave up, called someone not as senior as he was in order not to waste any more of his precious time and insensitively left the room to attend to some poor other bugger(s) whose legs were in the air.  I got moved to another room, only for the same messy, inconvenient and, by now, rather humiliating ritual on his return.  And then, all over again.

During this time, it took the most junior person in the room to fathom, as it transpired, that a failure of enough conducting gel between the willy shaped camera thing and the sheath that only accentuated it was the cause, by which time, between the sonographer's awkward comings and goings, albeit rather charming ones, we had run out of things to say and that made me sad.

As is the plight of many a lonely mum, single or otherwise, and having been absurdly and surprisingly grateful for it, I hadn't had such a decent proper adult chat in ages.


  1. This summer I had one of those too but went to the Radiography surgery. I would have gone to see a gynaecologist but apparently women who are no longer of child-bearing age waste a gyne's time, so it's the GP and Radiography surgery for her.

    I was told this by a snooty medecin de travail - workplace doc who has to give us the once over every year and declare us apt. When I told her (it was a her!) that I needed to have a scan and would make an appointment at a gyne's she basically told me off. Stupid bitch. Anyway, one thing's for sure, at the Radiography surgery they DO know how to work the equipment, and analyse the results.

    When I told the story to my GP he said it was a load of bollocks and there are gynes who do no obstetrics and just deal with women like me.

    If the stupid bitch didn't know that it makes you wonder dunnit...

  2. I remember my last smear was where I had a great adult conversation, though it was with a female nurse!

    It's just a job to them; women's bits aren't important and they can't seem to see why we find it so humiliating to lie in this position. They should try it sometime.

    CJ xx

  3. Been there! We had some issues getting pregnant and I have some on going issues which mean I get one of those waved at my nether regions every 6 months! YAY! Such fun! The last appointment, the doctor didn't even tell me his name, or say hello, he just came in, got down to business, and left me feeling like a rotisserie chicken! I wonder how blokes would react if they had to have this? I am sure they would change things! ;)

    1. Sorry - didn't mean to laugh, but I completely understand and totally agree! Glad you're over all that now :)

  4. Just the picture makes me cringe!

  5. Must admit the picture of the 'Willy Shaped Camera thing' has made me cross my legs tightly! I have enough prodding and poking the last month with smears and then a colposcopy yesterday to last me a lifetime!

  6. Oh god! Sorry but I just sniggered :(
    I like to think that the insensitivity is borne from the fact that to them it is totally insignificant and there is nothing remotely private about privates at all. I pity their partners given how difficult it must be for them to feign sexual imagination after all that stuffing around with women's bits all day!