2 November 2011

Bonfire Night.

Bonfire Night last year was one of my most poignant times as a single mum.  We had nowhere to go, with one child so young (18 months then) and, in truth, me not really getting around to being organized, such a struggle it was to get through the day (and those awful nights) alone.

I remember we watched - what I considered to be - a paltry amount of fireworks going off in other people's gardens through the upstairs back window.  Yet the children were thrilled.  They didn't know what they were missing and in the absence of this knowledge were overjoyed with their lot.  A bit like I am with them, never having enjoyed the joy of a true unit, so to speak, with their dad.

I hadn't even considered an official display - but they do tend to be late and can be expensive.  This year we are going to one, however. Things are very different.  I am making an effort (but didn't over Halloween, help me God).  We are going to friends for it and can go inside if needs be.

Watching it all from a distance can be the most lonely thing imagineable.  There are no gunpowder smells, no heat from a rarely seen - nowadays - fantastic fire, no sparklers to draw in the night sky,  no sausages or baked potatoes to eat, no sounds.

This year, at least, there are fireworks in my love life and I will never be looking back.  Yet there are many single parents out there - to whom my heart will be going out - and who deserve better, who cannot be protecting their kids whilst setting off rockets, who probably can't afford such a luxury anyhow and who would love to be invited somewhere so their children can hear and smell and feel and taste - as well as see - Bonfire Night for themselves!


11 comments:

  1. I'm pleased you've got someone to keep you warm this bonfire night. I do think sometimes the image of a perfect bonfire night/Christmas/whatever with a family unit is nothing like the imperfect reality.

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  2. Hope you enjoy Bonfire night! It's one of the events I really miss now that we are in Canada. Halloween is awesome here but you can't beat a big bonfire and burning your tongue on a hot jacket spud. Have fun!

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  3. I used to love bonfire night when I was young-err, but I can't watch fireworks now because I was diagnosed with epilepsy 12 years ago and the flashes affect me. I suspect they'll be a lot of parties on Saturday night though.

    CJ xx

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  4. Hi Ellen. Yes, it took me a while to realise that all the other mums at the school gates were knackered and harrassed too! Sometimes it's easier being on your own! It was that particular night it hit me hard. Thx for the reminder tho!

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  5. to AB - Thx for those wishes. What about starting your own tradition? My little boy gave me a really hard time about Halloween! x

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  6. HI CJ. Nice to see you here again. Will be thinking of you too then. Shame about missing out on the fire and grub, I think! x

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  7. That was a really touching post. Great that your children will be outdoors enjoying all the smells and sights of bonfire night. Hope it dosent rain too much!

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    1. Thank you Kate. Hope you manage a good evening x

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  9. Occassionally in life we get these introspective times, where frankly we feel like the lonliest person on the planet.
    But, this can change in time by meeting the right person, making new friends, etc.
    But, essentially we ARE alone (one being), it's just much of the time we don't notice it!

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    1. That's true, but we're not always stuck, which you can be with two young children, single or not!

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