Blood, Snot and Bogies!

The three year old and seven year old have a new game.  I really don't know if it's relevant that they're boys or if little girls would play it in a similar vein.  It would probably start out the same - they all like 'pretend' when you're dossing about spending quality time together, but 'grossing out' their mum certainly seems to add an extra rather large frisson to it for my two:

The 3yo boy:  'I'm going to give you an ice cream.'

Me:  'Mmm.  That's nice.  With a flake on top?'

3yo:   'No.'  He looks around the garden. 'Dirty footballs!'

Me:  'Mmm. That's not so nice, I'm going to give you an ice cream with flowers on top.'

3yo:  Giggles, obviously enjoying the outdoor theme.  It's where we were sitting.  He is thoughtful and sticking with it:  'I'm going to give you an ice cream with worms on top!'

Me, genuinely disgusted to his delight:  'Right then. I'm going to give you an ice cream with birds on top.'

Him:  'I'm going to give you an ice cream with bird poo on top!'

Me:  'I'm going to give you an ice cream with toenail clippings on top.'

Him:   'I'm going to give you an ice cream with blood on top!'

I am aghast, but then the 7 yo wades in, just to demonstrate how way out of our league we are:  'I'm going to give you both an ice cream with a giant's bladder on top!'

The 3yo:   'I'm going to give YOU an ice cream with spit on top.'

The 7yo:   'I'm going to give you an ice cream with dead slugs on top.'

Me:  'Erm, I'm going to give you both an ice cream with love on top?'

3yo:   'I'm going to give you an ice cream with snot and bogies on top.'

Me:  'Um.  How about sprinkles?  Anybody fancy sprinkles on top?'

7yo:  ' 'I'm going to give you an ice cream with the heart of a beaver on top.'

Stunned into silence and awe, we let him win.  We couldn't compete.  What on earth are they teaching kids at school nowadays?