3 June 2015

The Difference Between Our Forties and Fifties.

'You're a very handsome woman,' someone said.



When the whatsit did that happen?

My life reeled before me - all those 'pretty' comments that we nonchalantly let pass in our twenties, the 'beautiful' ones we disbelieve and bat off in our thirties and even those that come with a crushing caveat in the 'you're looking great for your age' forties.


What a killer wake up call!  They may as well have transmitted it over a tannoy, loud and clear for everyone to hear:

'Welcome to your fifties, Anya.'


Oh, and the irony?  As thick as our skin might become with age - because, metaphorically speaking, it really does - we care less for people pleasing and focus more on making the most of our own life - pointed remarks like this, no matter how well intended, remind us that, in reality, it is thinner all the time and, perhaps, a little easier to get under!

It was not lost on me.

And neither is it with regard to our sight - a similarly ironic scenario.  As we get older and our eyes deteriorate, we might need glasses to locate where our brows used to be but we are less blinded by b*llsh*t idealism, so we see life much more clearly nowadays.  We can pick out the losers and energy-suckers a mile off presently.  Instead, we are increasingly discerning over who we dedicate our love and time to, popping all those years of frustrated efforts to change or 'help' those who don't really want or need them properly in the past.  Let's face it, we've plenty enough of that to do a decent job of it!

When you enter your forties you're fresh out of your thirties - life is still a little rock and roll.  Once you hit your fifties, all those jokes about the menopause are less funny.  We're scared now.  We can really feel it coming.

And talking of trouble, we can't always blame hormones (or lack of) for our middle aged spread.  Tired of eschewing many a fattening thing for the sake of our figure for the last thirty years, I, for one, am relishing more cake, biscuits and butter nowadays.  It is unfortunate that the immersing of myself into the merits of them co-incides with my knees being too knackered to run or go to the gym anymore, but after decades of doing that (hence such issues) it has become boring and somewhat lost its appeal too.  This must be quite a common phenomenon, methinks!

Also, as our looks fade fast in our fifties - not that we appreciated we had any until they're going - there comes a moment we must re-think our make up.  Dark eyeshadow makes us appear witch -like - or, again, is that just me?!  We need lighter lipsticks as well, so as not to emphasise the wrong bits of us that are slimming and rather than being as judgmental as we may previously have been, we're suddenly seriously sympathetic to the notion of plumping for some botox (see what I did there ;) ?!).

While you're still in your forties, you kind of get used to seeing your mum staring back at you in the mirror - and there's no shame in that, but there's a lovely little surprise waiting for you later on.  My wonderful Nana has been gone for about a year, yet she's still here - in my reflection - just like she was when I was young.  i.e. when she was young. Perhaps, rather than being bitter, we could call it the privilege of lineage?

#SorryNotSorry about the spoiler!

So lap up all the compliments you can ladies.  Take them, treasure them and thank your generous giver for them.  Even enjoy a friendly builder's whistle, because, before you know it, your forties will have sailed seemingly seamlessly into your fifties and the nearest you'll get is a builder's brew and having someone calling you 'Handsome!'

youth is wasted on the young, oscar wilde, george bernard shaw,

Thank you to all of you who voted me into the final five of the Brilliance in Blogging (BiBs) Awards in the Best Writer category.  I'm thrilled, thrilled, thrilled and hoping that one day to share the story of leaving my lucrative London job because of keeping losing my voice, only for it to turn up here when I'm a struggling single mum!  I honestly, truly appreciate all your loyalty, love and support.  

Thank you, as always,

Anya XX.