1 May 2014

The Random Musings of a 50 Year Old.

It pains me to admit to turning 50 last month, but it is a milestone no longer possible to ignore. Copious celebrations marking the occasions over several weeks have seen to that.

However, one of the great things about acquiring age is the 'wisdom' that comes with it along the way.  Here's some of what I've learned.

Thank you Sarah Brewster and the boys!

When someone you love asks you to marry them, you shouldn't say 'No' just because you're only in your twenties and society says it's too young.  It is not too young.  You will never love that freely again.

Plus the dejected man might then slip into the sack of a stalking slapper, smashing your heart to smithereens.

When someone of questionable relationship history asks you to marry them you shouldn't say 'Yes' just because you're heading towards your forties and society says you should by now have been hitched.  Mistake.

Sort out your ingrowing toenails asap.

Travel.

You never see a happy jogger.

Always have a decent hairdresser.

Keep glue and a couple of screwdrivers handy in a kitchen drawer.

Only check how many calories are in something before you eat it, never afterwards.  It's a pointless spoiler.

The most intellectually challenging thing you might ever face is getting your children to want to do what you want them to do.

You're never too old to have your children.

You're never too young to have your children.

Invest in your family for the most decent returns you'll ever get.

Life is full of wonderful surprises.

Everyone has a story.

Ask more questions.

Make less judgments.

The best things in life really are free and you really can have too much of a good thing (except mango - you can't have too much mango.).

As such, all cliches are true.

There is nothing harder than being true to yourself.

But when you walk your own path in life, you meet your own people.

And always trust your gut instinct, no matter what your logic says.  One day, you will understand.

Meditation and medication both save lives.

Independence is overrated.

Those who tell you things you want to hear aren't necessarily your friends and those who tell you things you don't want to hear aren't necessarily your enemies (Terry Wogan).

Some souls you can't imagine can betray you in ways you can't imagine.

Doctors / workmen / people in general treat you with differing levels of respect when you wear smart suits and high heels vs. casual clothes and flats, a little eye make up vs. none, when you're younger vs. older, slimmer vs. fatter, when you're a high earner or a housewife, drive an expensive sports car, nothing or an old Focus and whether you're single, married or divorced.

Little kindnesses go a long way.

Sources of support can be astonishingly unexpected.

Certain individuals will lie in court.

Macho men are not real men, just bullies.

Lust and love are massively miles apart.

Once a woman has her claws into a man, you cannot remove them for him.

RAF Officers are not necessarily gentlemen.

Don't judge people by your own standards.

If it's taking you longer to find a suitable picture for a blogpost than it took to write the whole thing then it's not worth the bother.  It's never done Helen McGinn or Sonya Fran Cisco any harm whatsoever.

If you're trying to put together a collage of certain said celebrations but the whole thing completely defeats you, no-one will ever know.

Decorator's masking tape is SO worth the effort.

There's nothing worse than being in an unhealthy or unhappy marriage.

There is a difference between Domestic Abuse and Domestic Violence.

The moment you feel the need to justify yourself to someone is the moment to walk away from them, head held high.

Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway is a good motto to live by (and a good book by Susan Jeffers).

Chocolate isn't always the answer, but it's usually worth a try.

Some people don't have the privilege of living until they're 50.  Thank you to the friends and family who made my Birthday so memorable and special!  I love you all.

Which pearls of 'wisdom' would you add to this list?

I'm astounded and humbled to find myself shortlisted in the Writer's category for a Brilliance in Blogging Award!  Thank you very much to all of you who voted for me.  You can see the other semi-finalists and vote for those you'd like to put through to the finals HERE.

82 comments:

  1. Ahhh! This is a fantastic post full of wit and wisdom!!! 'Independence is overrated' is a really interesting one and it made me stop to think. And I agree.

    PS You could give more tips on how to look much younger than 50, by the way, seeing as how you've mastered that!! xox

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    1. Thank you so much - glad I made you think and that you agree. It was instilled into our generation as a must do, but I don't think it's healthy really! And thank you for the compliment :)

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  2. Wow - that's quite a list. The only thing I would add is to live in the present, otherwise you can lose so much time thinking about the past or wondering about the future that you miss what is actually happening at the moment.

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    1. Brilliant Penny. Indeed, they say that's why it's called the present - because it's a gift! xx

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  3. Fabulous list! I try not to sweat the small stuff - nobody ever died over ill matched socks or a dusty mantelpiece!

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  4. Great that you have learned so much at such a young age, hope it holds you in good stead for the next 50 years. All Susan J's books are brilliant, BTW.
    Joy xx

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    1. Such a young age - of course, to you! Thank you for the perspective. And I must check out her other books, thank you Joy :)

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  5. I'm going to add "never assume" and "never under-estimate the power in holding someone's hand".

    You wise old bird you - looking forward to seeing you very soon x

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    1. Brilliant additions Jenny but if you call me an old bird again I might find a subsequent engagement ;) x

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  6. Ah what a lovely post Tanya. You are such a fabulous person and thoroughly deserving of that award

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    1. Thank you Joanne. Honoured to be alongside you in that category :)

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  7. There's lots of sadness here with snippets of obviously bad shit that's happened to you, but lots of positives too. x

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    1. I tried to keep it balanced because life is full of both :)

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  8. An fabulous post, happy birthday hun x
    Congratulations on the nomination for Best Writer in the BiBs - well deserved!

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  9. Thank you Izzie and congratulations to you too :)

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  10. Gorgeous, wise post from a beautiful lady inside and out-think the Malcolm X words of eradicating hate with love and darkness with light always ring true to me. Lots of love and well done you (I'm nominated in style)-shocked x

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    1. Thank you lovely lady and I saw that - congratulations!

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  11. I love this! you made me laugh and cry all in one post! The only thing I would add is - when all is blue and sad look into the eyes of your child and see hope, a future and more love than it is possible for anyone to feel - trust me - it will make you smile!

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  12. You are so wise, quite a few things on this list I need to remember and learn from

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  13. How about...

    Treat yourself to an expensive pair of designer sunglasses. They'll make all the difference!

    ;)

    Great post Anya, good to have you back! x

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    1. Best idea yet! Wonder where you got that from! I wish ;) And thank you :)

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  14. What a wonderful post - and as I am in my early 40s I can start to appreciate this list sooner! You are a wise lady Anya. Good to see your writing again xx

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    1. Thank you Vic, I look forward to yours!

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  15. Very wise my love. I would just add tell people you love you love them before they are gone and make sure your kids know you are on their side

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    1. Wise words too Becky, thank you :)

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  16. LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE this post!

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  17. This is just fab! I hope you scoffed that cake whilst you wrote this :))) x belated Happy Birthday too xx

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    1. Thank you! The cake is long gone! And thank you again :)))

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  18. What a great post Anya! Still can't believe you are 50! you don't look it let me tell you that!
    You are an inspiring lady and a great writer!

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  19. I love the mix in this list - big serious issues plus masking tape and glue.
    A cracking post from the best looking 50 year old I know!

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    1. Thank you Trish - I shall look forward to yours too :)

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  20. I am going to keep coming back to this as there are nuggets of pure gold. Happy birthday and congratulations on being a semi-finalist in the BiBs. This post alone shows that it is truly deserved xx

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    1. Thank you Kirsty. I'm probably double your age, that's why and thank you :)

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  21. Brilliant Anya I love choc is worth a try. That's where I turn to in the first instance!

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    1. I bet it's never done you any harm Emma :)

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  23. I love this post!!!! Although I am a happy jogger! x

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    1. So glad. I am 50 years old and have never seen a jogger who looks happy! Shall I say it that way? ;)

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  24. This is the best list, both heart-wrenching and hilarious. I hope you had a truly wonderful birthday! Your cake looks delicious too! :).Emma xx

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    1. I shall use that quote thank you! xx

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  25. I love this list and what a way to celebrate! Happy Birthday! 'But when you walk your own path in life, you meet your own people' - very true indeed!

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    1. Thank you! Glad you appreciate it :)

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  26. Wise words, you beautiful lady. Funny, sad and true. I am quite sure that you're fibbing about being 50 though... it's just not possible. The sparkle in your eyes is at least fifteen years younger than that, which a real testament to your strength and spirit xxx

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    1. That is beautiful, thank you :) xxx

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  27. Yessssss! To the glue and screwdrivers :)
    And it's funny how we describe bullies as bullies when they're 6, and as alpha males when they're adults. How on earth did that go only half circle - you've got me thinking.
    By the way, can you please stop writing such good stuff? I have a competition to win, you know... ;)

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    1. Isn't it funny how different people are picking up on the different thing? Yes, you're right and no I won't, but thank you for the compliment ;)

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  28. This is one of your best ever posts. Love it. Worthy BIBS contender. Getting posts via email always makes me a late commenter x

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    1. Thank you :) Never too late hun xx

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  29. You are very wise for such a young age. Experience gives you that, and you have it.

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    1. I love to be called young Catherine thank you! You are wise from experience too :)

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  30. Gosh I'm a bit late to the party aren't I lovely lady? So sorry for the delay in my response :o). I loved the post and all your wonderful witty observations, and this, this has to be my favourite and had me really laughing; 'You never see a happy jogger.' So true! I have NEVER seen a happy jogger, including myself. You are a very deserving BiBs finalist and wonderful friend. You is the best! XXX

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    1. You're never too late. And it's true! Thank you for your kind words. You deserve your place too xx

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  32. Happy Birthday! I love the look of that cake. I would add to your words of wisdom - get on the property ladder as soon as possible. It's not about climbing on, it's about paying off your mortgage. And you are never to young to retrain. Have a wonderful year and a wonderful second half. xxx

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    1. Thank you Rachel! That's really good advice - you're making me think about Random Musings II now! And you're so right about re-training - should definitely be a lifelong thing. Thanks for commenting x

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    2. Of course I meant you are never too old to re-train, not too young.

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    3. I hadn't even noticed that - I knew what you meant :) x

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  33. Awh, what a list! A very Happy Birthday Anya...and next time don't leave it so long!

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  34. I'm back and trying again - it will be shorter as I am knackered.
    The last comment was something like the words and wisdom of a wonderful woman. I love this.
    Did you listen to Woman's Hour today? There was feature on what was your best mistake. That would be my wisdom, there is often positives in mistakes. Be it wonderful children by less wonderful ex's or things learnt from the mistakes of the past. X

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    1. Thank you so much for coming back and trying again Gemma - I don't know why Blogger swallowed your comment and I'm sorry about that. I always appreciate your opinion and this is an expression I will take forward with me - it's perfect! Thank you for adding that wisdom - knock out.

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  35. Love this list Anya - all so true - I've been nodding away her! I would add:

    If you're going to play with feathers, expect your arse tickled.

    And my fave one:

    It's not worth doing if you don't think twice

    Ok that was a song lyric but I do agree with it!


    x

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    1. Ooh I like the sound of those, thank you! :)

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  36. Great list! My lovely Daddy only gave me two pieces of advice.

    1. Don't fret about people talking about you. If they aren't talking about you, you're boring. Don't be boring.

    2. There are two problems in life, yours and somebody else's. Remember the difference.

    We should all make our own lists and put them on our walls!

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    1. Lovely pieces of advice and yes, what a brilliant idea :)

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  37. You are never 50?! *faints*. Many happy returns - you look great on it, so I suspect you have a portrait I the attic somewhere! Great list - I agree with 99% of it! it's just that I don't know any RAF officers so can't comment on that bit! Xx

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    1. Thank you! Glad to know you're in agreement as a person of my own age. Trust me on the RAF one ;) xx

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  38. Congratulations on the shortlist and what a great list you've put together! I'm 50 this year too and it's all very scary - hope I have as much insight - love that you've sneaked in a few pointed refs!

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    1. Thank you very much for your congratulations and appreciating the list which you will appreciate more than most! Hope we get to catch up at #bml again this year - all too brief before xx

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  39. Ah the masking tape one needs an addition - remove whilst paint is still wet. if you wait until it's dry you will remove half of the paint attached to it and your woodwork. #LifeLesson

    Love this list Anya and always feel so much energy on your pages :)

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    1. Top tip thanks Mari - could never work out why that happened! And thank you for that compliment :) x

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  40. Absolutely LOVE your list, Anya.
    Especially "And always trust your gut instinct, no matter what your logic says. One day, you will understand". So true.
    I would add: "Make time for yourself so you do not forget who you are".
    And congratulations on your nomination! :) xx

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    1. Thank you Katia - that's really good advice too - and easier said than done, as we know! And thank you for your congratulations too :) xx

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  41. Fabulous post. There are so many truths here. I particularly like the one about gut instinct - it is usually right, and as for 'Feel the fear and do it anyway' - one of my favourites.

    I would add - ' What gets pushed under the carpet grows under the carpet'. Something I wish I'd known in earlier years.

    Happy (belated) Birthday x

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    1. Thank you. Glad you appreciate the truths. I've never heard that expression - too true as well! And thank you for your good wishes :) x

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  42. Love this post Anya!
    The line "Invest in your family for the most decent returns you'll ever get" spoke to me.

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    1. Thank you Nadine - I'm touched that so many lines are resonating with so many people in so many different ways x

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