3 January 2013

'Rabbit, Rabbit, Rabbit!'





'No bouncing on the bed!  How many times do I have to tell you?'

'Again, it's time to get dressed.  Now, come on.'

'Get yourselves dressed.'

'If you don't get dressed now, I'll take you to the shops/ school/ out in your pyjamas.'

'No, you can't have chocolate before breakfast.  You know that.' 

'Now sit straight at the table.  No, don't sit sideways.  It twists your stomach.'

'It's what you asked for.  Elbows off the table.  Eat your breakfast nicely.'

'No.  Don't hit your brother.  Stop fighting.  Be kind to each other.  I've had enough already.  Please. Stop winding each other up.'

'Crikey.  No, you can't watch television, it's time to leave.'

'Hello?  You've had all morning to play with your toys / train track / each other.  Why choose now when we're trying to get out of the house?'

'Get your shoes on for the millionth time.'

'Why is it such a struggle to ever leave?'

'Which bit of 'get your coat on' didn't you understand?'

'No.  I want Radio 2 on.  I'm the driver, I'm in charge.'

'No.  All they play is that James Arthur.'
..............................................................

'We're home now.  That's enough fighting with your brother.  He loves you.  No, I know it doesn't look like it, but that's his way of showing affection.  He wants your attention.'

'Stop annoying one another.  'Because you're really annoying me.'

'That's it.  I've had enough.  For goodness sake why can't you just play nicely?  Loads of children would love half the toys you've got. Shall we give them away?'

'What's with all the noise?'

'No you can't watch television.'

'There's no need to shout.  Why do you have to be so loud?  STOP SHOUTING!'

'OK.  Put the television on and leave each other alone.  Leave me alone.  I'm having a glass of wine cooking dinner.'

'That's it.  Sit to the table properly.  No don't kneel.  Legs forward.  Why do you have to sit like that?  I don't care how they let you eat at school.  You're not eating like that here.'

'ELBOWS OFF THE TABLE.  Be polite.  Eat nicely. Yes, you do like it.  You always like it.  Yes, you can have pudding when you've eaten all your dinner.  It's not a race.  Yes, fruit first, then pudding.  You know the rules.'

'Yes, you do have to do your homework.  Yes, I know it's a pain but it's got to be done.  No I won't do it for you, but yes, of course, I'll help you.  We love problem solving / maths / Literature / English, don't we?'  No, you can't watch more television afterwards, you'll get square eyes.  No,you can't do it while you eat your dinner.  I don't care that no-one else does it, you'll get mummy into trouble if you don't do it.  We've spent longer arguing over you not doing it than it takes to actually do it.'

'No, we can't watch a film.  It's time for a  bath.  No, you can't play with your toys / the computer / your brother now.  You've had all evening to do that.'

'OK. One of you out of the bath NOW.  I don't care which one.  Whichever one of you hurt the other one first. Out.'

'No bouncing on the bed!'

'Night, night.'

Repeat ad infinitum, right?  Roll on next week!



36 comments:

  1. You sometimes feel like a stuck record. Why do we do it to ourselves?!!

    CJ x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And we sound like one! I don't know. I don't know. I don't know! ;)

      Delete
  2. This is just like my house, made me smile!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So glad! You never know when you push that Publish button whether it's just you!

      Delete
  3. hahaha! Made me smile too....I have used at least half of them today....lol

    ReplyDelete
  4. If it's any consolation I almost dragged DD out of the house in her knickers this morning because she wouldn't get dressed. And she never needs chocolate before breakfast because often chocolate is breakfast.

    ReplyDelete
  5. That is, indeed, much consolation, thank you!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hahaha. So true. I feel like screaming most mornings, because NOBODY IS LISTENING TO ME! And my youngest eats pain au chocolat for in the mornings, while his brother has Coco Pops - so they do have chocolate for breakfast (call me a bad mum, I don't care. It keeps them quiet).

    ReplyDelete
  7. Have you been spying on me?! lol By the end of the day don't you just hate the sound of your own voice.:-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No, it's all my own work, I'm so sorry to say. Yes!

      Delete
  8. Oh no, sounds like yours are a bit older than mine and you still spend your days like that...
    ...Oh no, oh no, oh no!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh dear, I'm so sorry, I'm waiting for the comment that says it will all be over before we know it ..... I don't think it's coming! ;)

      Delete
  9. Sorry to disappoint but mine are now 17 and 20 and I still occasionally have to separate them at mealtimes because they can't be trusted to sit nicely and eat without fighting :-(

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That really made me laugh - and then it made me really cry!

      Delete
  10. Oh this sounds a lot like the things I say every day! Roll on parenting isn't it?

    ReplyDelete
  11. I have had to listen to 5 little monkeys jumping on the bed over and over too!

    Roll on Monday.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I always admire your signing off line - 'Mother of four boys.' You don't write 'Help' afterwards - I admire you for that! ;)

      Delete
  12. Bloody hell! I need a cup of chamomile reading that - sent my heart rate right up! I can only imagine when you have two, and especially if it's two boys, it gets very, very tiring intervening with all the squabbles etc. Great post. X.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Be thankful for your little girl. But, would I change it for the world? ;)

      Delete
  13. Brilliant, my dear - this is me everyday pretty much - so glad I am not the only one. I must have said "stop bickering" a million times yesterday!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You know when you're not sure whether to publish, because you're not sure if it's actually only you being inadequate - I am so glad it's not just me and I'm not necessarily inadequate!

      Delete
  14. Haha, this sounds all too familiar! I told my two girls at the weekend that I'd miss them when they go back to school. Their response: "Really?!!! but all you do is nag when we're here!"
    Great post!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm surprised they've even noticed! Glad it's familiar. When mine went back to school and Nursery this week, I went down the beach and wept with relief!

      Delete
  15. Love it - we are all the same really x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am so glad, because I really didn't know!

      Delete
  16. You know, my mother used to say most of that to my brothers and I, well over 50 years ago! lol I really do sympathise!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And I really don't know how to take that :) I suppose it shows that boys don't change and thank Heavens for that, really.

      Delete
  17. I hear you sistah! *sobs*
    PS hope good health has been restored to your household x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You so get it with the *sobs,* I can tell! The boys are much better, thank you. Funnily enough I miss it when they're not driving me mad.

      Delete
  18. ah an insight into what i have to look forward to!! only have one so far and she's only 8 months...

    great post!

    http://thislittlemum.blogspot.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Even with one, you'll find yourself repeating the same thing every day, but I bet you already do! :)

      Delete
  19. Lol, this is so me! my teen girl puts Heart on the radio the minute she gets in the car, I'm forever nearly crashing trying to fight her for the knob! So glad its Friday, can have a lie-in tomorrow. I vote for a three day week, anyone with me? Oh yes, and school should go on til 5.30, teachers are always moaning they can't fit everything in- not surprised as they only have 24 hours teaching time in a whole week!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Yes it's always Heart Radio the eldest wants on and all they play is that James Arthur! I never thought about that re the teachers - too true, good idea. That hour when they get home I swear will be the death of me!

    ReplyDelete