1 March 2013

Single Mum's Story - Elle - New Pyjama Mummy.

Elle is in her late forties and an experienced teacher.  She has been blogging over at New Pyjama Mummy for the teeniest time giving heartrending accounts of how she and her newly adopted three year old daughter, PJ, are getting to know one another.

We can't print a a real photo of her because of the privacy laws around adoption, but here's her story, continuing our series.

I have recently become a Mum to a gorgeous little girl, PJ aged 3, whom I am adopting - at 47!

It hasn't so much been a shock to the system, these last 6 months, as more of a dream that has taken what feels like a lifetime to be fulfilled. I have waited a long time for this - and yes there are days when I dream of watching my telly programmes during the day, rather than CBeebies, or eating my food on the sofa - because I want to, but can't until she is much much older - or after she has gone to bed! 

Most days, are fun-filled and we are both re-adjusting - she from a turbulent and traumatic past and has now been uprooted from a secure foster placement to be with me, a somewhat older and single Mum and our cat, Smudge - whose life- yes, has been comepletely turned upside down! 

I haven't had all the years longing for a family with a partner. My short-lived abusive marriage ended before we started a family. I haven't had the pain of failed IVF, but have had the pain of wanting to have a family of my own and whilst holding onto that dream, have watched the years slip by, seemingly bypassing me, leaving me empty handed. 

Whilst I have had years of working with children, young people and families, I have never seen myself as having not become a Mum until I am older because of choice or because I have the great career instead, which is often perceived by "the others": media, and some family or friends. 

I love life and have enjoyed many wonderful adventures but have always wanted children of my own. So, here I am, embarking on new waters to charter, older Mum and proud. The waters may well be stormy and have the beauty of calm seas too. I bring to our journey myself and the life I have had so far, the years of experience and the treasures that lie within, yet to behold.  Proud to be a Mum. Proud to adopt. Proud to be Single. Proud to be older.

It is all as yet, unknown territory. I am not frightened of a challenge. I have risen to the challenge of being adopted as a premature baby to a Single Mum myself, who gave me up for adoption as her choice. I have always known that I was adopted and always thought that I would adopt too.  I have walked through the challenge of a devastating divorce and ridden through the path of singleness and travelled the bumpy ride to do it.

I hope that you will not find me broken and shattered into pieces, or arrogant and full of pretence. Rather, I hope that you might celebrate your own journey and find some connections within our own adventure in my blog NewPyjamas as our story unfolds. I am  New Pyjama Mummy, as she asked for new pyjamas from her new Mummy and she is PJ.

I love tea, coffee and cake and a natter with friends - and wine - after her bedtime.  I love messing around with glitter and glue to create things and love scrapbooking photos.  I'm partial to a bit of really easy walking in countryside in my wellies, yet adore my high heeled shoes and shopping. I love entertaining, cooking and baking and love eating out. And now I have a 3 year old. Help!

Read other wonderful Single Mums Stories on their special Page HERE.   If you would like to add yours, please email me at oldersinglemum@gmail.com.