13 May 2013

Fat Bottomed Girl!

Normal service is resumed.  The sensation of squiffiness from the general anaesthetic has ceased. My mojo has returned.

But this is what happens to your backside when you're laid up pre and post a knee operation, when you're rendered sat on it, feeling obliged to finish off the vat loads of wine and piles of chocolates from your recent Birthday, before even starting to quaff exactly the same Get Well soon gifts, and then you do.




It.  Is.  HUGE.

'A minute on the lips, a lifetime on the hips' aren't words that were springing to mind, nor Kate Moss' 'Nothing tastes as good as being skinny feels.'  Nope.  Not one of them.

All I could think was - 'Mmm.  Delish.'  Much too often, for much too long!

It's seeing the shock register on peoples' faces that tells me things are worse than I feared and filming myself recently for a small Britmums shoot showed me, quite categorically, they have gone far too far, as you can see from the picture.  I'm too embarrassed to post the ones of my stomach - all courtesy of the local hairdressers - the first place ventured to on release from my captivity.

As we live by the coast and as the summer approaches, it's de rigueur to be down the beach, appropriately attired so, I for one, am grateful for the return of the cold, cover up weather we're enduring, whilst considering addressing the issue.

Being an older parent, it's important to be responsible and take my health seriously, despite the fact it's been fun to kick back and sit around getting fat.  After all, it's only me that makes my kids' rockin' world go round.

And while it miffed me a bit when losing weight before Christmas and no-one mentioned it, this quirkily British refrain exercised while witnessing things going the other way is something utterly appreciated!

But because normal service has been resumed, which means me looking after two children and three foreign language students, the chances of my backside finding a chair this side of Christmas are slim, so let's hope these two things have the sort of effect on each other similar to that of osmosis.

In the meantime I might re-read this article that I wrote for my other blog and take a reminder of someone who didn't do discreet and loved fat-bottomed girls:

38 comments:

  1. Ha ha, we would be two fat ladies if we got together. Your bum looks like the twin of mine.

    I aim to shift it by September.

    Good luck honey.

    Liska xx

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    1. September? That's the other end of the beach season. Am addressing mine now! :)

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  2. Hate to say it but ... I think you're gorgeous just as you are. But then I think it's all about how you feel. x

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    1. Thank you darling, but the truth is you think I'm gorgeous as I was - and I am not as I was! I'm far too short to carry it off and it doesn't make me feel my normal bouncy self :)

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  3. I am telling myself 'All the better to sit on!' at the moment as my anemia gets worse and in turn my desire to do faff all!

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    1. You're absolutely right - and tbh, I think that's where it started. Keep your strength up xx

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  4. Glad to hear you're fighting fit again. Don't worry about the bum. It got big because you couldn't move. Now that you can, it'll go down to its normal size. Some brisk walking along the front should sort it out soon enough too. :)

    If it's any consolation, I went on a motorbiking holiday (no moving) for 10 days, ate a bit more than normal and came back as fat as a pig. I'm now back on the zumba to get it all, especially my stomach, back to normal!

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    1. Thank you for that - you're right and I can't imagine you anything like a pig - you're divine, but it is a consolation and I wonder if the knee could cope with zumba? xx

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  5. Ha, you and me both - it's so scary how quickly a body can turn into a disaster zone! On holiday in a few weeks, must do better - but have accidentally eaten a KitKat and a Fondant Fancy this morning!!

    Off for a run round the house with the hoover and my iPod!!

    Good luck x

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    1. As you get older, it gets scarier, believe me! I know what you mean about accidentally eating that kind of thing too :)

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  6. I really need to get my horrible feet seen to, but the thought of restricted movement for 6-8 weeks after a bunion op has so far deterred me. I mean what's the point of having fab feet if your bum is twice the size?

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    1. But you are gorgeous and it means you get to rest .... :)

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  7. Sorry but I'm really not seeing a problem... but if you want to do something for 20mins per day to tone up and make yourself feel better - knees allowing - try the 30 Day Shred, I've just started it in the count down to my hols in June. It's pretty darned good- Steph from Counting UFOs pointed me in the direction of the free 30 Day Shred available on YouTube, very nifty!!

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    1. Thank you Luci - I've heard of that - 20 mins a day is worth checking out - and I don't see a problem with you either!

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  8. I once twisted my ankle badly and put on 10kg over the following months. You've gotta nip it in the bud now while it doesn't look so big. Nice hair cut though :). Good luck. xxx

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    1. You have my complete sympathy - it goes on so easily once you're a certain age and you're right, gotta be nipped in the bud. Thanks for the compliments and good wishes :)

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  9. I am very glad to hear you are fully back to working order again - you've had it tough recently but, like all the others above I can't see a problem. However I totally understand that this is your perception, and I get that feeling of 'Ugh' after you haven't been well for a while, haven't exercised, eaten too much of the good stuff. Hopefully now you are back to normal, chasing the kids around, playing maid and stand-in mum to the students, that all the exercise will start to make you feel better. Feeling sluggish never helps your image of your self. Don't worry - your bum still looks fab, and will look even better over the coming months! XXX

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    1. You're too kind, - but you're right - sluggishness doesn't suit me - or anyone I suppose and yes, returning to slavery should help! xx

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  10. I wish my bum was that small. ;-) ...but then it's all relative, isn't it?

    Knee ops suck, but at least it should get you back on your feet. I hope they are putting you through some rigorous physio!

    Do your stretches! ...I speak from experience.

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    1. Thank you Monika - your incentive is much stronger than mine and thank you for the tip re the physio. *slaps own wrists*

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  11. I still blame the teenage boy (18 years old) for the extra flab around my midriff.

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  12. Glad to hear you're back on your feet again. I'm sure it won't take long back at full speed to shift the tiny bit of upholstery!

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    1. You're so kind - wish I could go out running like you've been :)

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  13. I was expecting something much more spectacular than that! I wish you a speedy recovery.

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    1. Sorry to disappoint and thank you :)

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  14. Happy to read that your knee is better. Huge is not the word I would have said when I saw the photo!
    My trick is exercise four times a week, long walks with the dog - does this help with your decision? - and in general eat healthily. Then when I feel like eating lots of chocolate or cake or whatever I just do... ;o) xx

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    1. And you look incredible on all that *considers the dog* :)

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  15. I think you are gorgeous!
    But if you ever need help, you know where I am xxx

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    1. There's just more of me to love now Lisa and thank you, you are a help :)

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  16. I'm sure you will be back to normal in no time once you can move more freely....even though you still look fine to me!!

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    1. Am feeling more nnnormal by the moment. You haven't seen me sideways, but thank you :)

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  17. Ah I've seen bigger! You'll soon shift it - it's the being bored and laid up that's the problem. Glad you're mending now x

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  18. I've been thinking a lot about this recently, and how I really need to do something about it. Mine happened when our kitchen was being redone, and i had only a microwave to cook with. Lame excuse I know (and I love my new kitchen) but could do with the side effects.

    Can't wait for the BritMums piece!

    x

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    1. I think it's a shock as you get older how quickly and easily it goes on - and it takes so much longer to come off! Looking forward to writing it Sussana :)

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  19. That is not a big booty at all-you look great (I love big booties by the way-maybe a cultural thing)-curves are cool but totally know what you mean about shifting weight-last of my baby weight needs blasting so I'm back on the Fast Diet which I've loved! The health benefits are great too!

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    1. You're too kind and all too gorgeous. You were very pregnant when we met so I'm going to search for those posts specifically :)

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