8 May 2013

Mums Are Amazing!






'I'm an amazing woman,' I told my sons.  'If a man had done half of what I have today, he'd be considered a hero.'

It's so true, sadly.  It's probably true for most days for most of us mums, single or otherwise!

Anyhow, according to a parenting course I did a couple of years ago, this is the way to go - telling our children we're wonderful.

It stems from a lady mumbling to herself about how rubbish she was at parking, only to be offended when her children told her she was too.   They had only learned it from her!  But they had also learned that it's OK to think about yourself like that.

If we tell our children we're brilliant, they can feel the same about themselves.  So I tell my kids quite regularly that I'm a fantastic mum, a fabulous woman, a beautiful lady, that I'm kind and really clever.  They don't argue, but we don't push it as far as using the word 'patient,' because they'd laugh in my face for that.

This particular day I had surpassed myself.  I had cleaned out the garden shed for the first time in four years - heaved all the stuff out, cleaned away zillions of spiders and cobwebs and yucky stuff, whilst simultaneously doing two loads of washing, getting it all on the line and dried and in again, minded an extra child as well as my own two, kept them and three students fed and watered throughout the day and prepared roast chicken for us all for dinner, all whilst keeping my sense of humour intact.

Most husbands / resident blokes might have done the shed, been served his snacks and meals, demanded his own drinks rather than fetched them and been feted for his efforts.  He certainly wouldn't have done a bit of washing up.  If he'd done any of the other things that I managed to do he'd be considered a miracle worker and thanked profusely.

But a woman? She might ache all over for a week and be reduced to tears when next taking on a similar day too soon after that one, but that's not what she has to tell the kids.

No. We must tell them we're amazing.  Because we are. And it doesn't hurt them to know and appreciate us for it.

But, also, they can learn to tell themselves that they are too. Because they are.  It's in their genes - and probably, quite possibly, from their mums' side!

48 comments:

  1. *Gives you a standing ovation*

    Too bloody true, lovely. Mums are ALL amazing and strong, but none more so than those doing it alone like you are. What a great lesson to pass on to your children. x

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    1. *bows* Thank you. The next lesson is resting! ;)

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  2. That's a very cool message with a nice quip - I shall use it to my advantage tonight. My daughter is always telling me I'm the best Mum in the world and I shrug it off with "I'm glad you think so." Tonight I'm going to say "I am, aren't I? And look how amazing you are too!"

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    1. Brilliant. And I especially use it when they're complaining about me!

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  3. Ohh Anya, this is great - I love it. I hope to remember this and model it to my kids. Mich x

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    1. Fantastic - thank you - you are and they are amazing! :)

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  4. Loving this a lot - I am going to big myself up to mine when they come home today! x (That picture made me laugh!)

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  5. I love this. I have a friend who never tells her son he is 'naughty' or 'bad' she always tries to use positive language so she'll say something like 'Don't do that because you are a good boy'. She explained it to me that if you constantly hear negative language it can be a self-fulfilling prophecy and so I do try and take time to celebrate achievements and stay positive. You are an amazing woman and I am so glad that you are feeling better x

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  6. It's so true and great practice. You are an amazing woman too and thank you :)

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  7. Rah! Love this concept and it totally makes sense about them gaining confidence from being in a positive and supportive environment. I do think it is important they understand why mums are amazing though, so that in turn they understand what it takes for they themselves to be amazing - I was having a chat with a teacher friend of mine recently about how surprised she was when she went from teaching at a primary school in a poor area to one in a middle-class area, about the attitude of the children and their inflated sense of self-worth, leading to them not having much respect for anyone other than themselves.

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    1. Rah! Glad you love it Luci and yes, it does make sense. That's an interesting point too, thank you. :)

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  8. Fabulous post!!!!! Loved this loads, oodles and doodles. What a great message, and I had never thought of it quite like that before - so true! I'm fab, you're fab is my new daily mantra with Little A! You truly are a wonderful role mother to your boys! X.

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    1. It's a great mantra and thank you for that Sarah :) xx

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  9. Firstly, yes of course we're amazing and it certainly makes sense to tell the kids. One of my friends is a very nervous driver and her kids have all picked up on her anxiety and scream and complain how terrible she is when she's driving (that does not help).
    Secondly, giraffes are my favourite animal and I was lucky enough to see a baby giraffe being born and I must say the Mum was amazing (I hope she tells her baby how great she is all the time too!)

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    1. Firstly - thank you for underscoring both those points. Secondly, what a wonderful experience (and I hope she does too!).

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  10. I'm amazing! Practising already :)

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  11. Yes we are all amazing, I agree with everything you said, am always telling my children they are gorgeous/fab/amazing/brilliant, just have to say the same to myself out loud!

    And even though I have a bloke here, I still end up doing it all!

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    1. Your children will love it and it won't do your bloke any harm to be reminded how gorgeous/fab/amazing/brilliant you are! ;)

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  12. Really good point. They learn everything else from us so they should learn this too.

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  13. Sad to say, so true. Keep up the good work.

    Sheila

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    1. Thank you Sheila - and thank you for that pic too :)

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  14. Love it!!! I'll try that later, see how my kids respond :D

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    1. Good to hear - do let us know how you get on! :)

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  15. What an amazing insight which seems so obvious now I think about it. And they learn it from us. Thanks for the insight! x

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    1. You would think so, wouldn't you, but it's just not British is it? Let us know how you get on Polly! :)

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  16. Yes, yes and yes. You have said it perfectly as always. Why shouldn't we proclaim out amazingness for all to hear?

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    1. Thank you Stacey! You're right, who else is going to do it? ;)

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  17. Good message and one I hadn't really considered before. I think it is often drummed into us that it's somehow rude to big yourself up but you are right about the effect it will have on our children!

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    1. Thank you - I think has a positive effect on everybody! :)

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  18. Excellent point! Shall start on it at once, after I have had anther giggle at the giraffe pic!

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    1. Great news - and glad you enjoyed that - I love it!

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  19. LOVE LOVE LOVE this one, am going to start trying it out from tonight! What a gorgeous post xx

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    1. You ARE amazing anyhow - so good for you and thank you for your lovely support over this post! :)

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  20. Awesome post, I love this. I'm always telling my children how amazing they are...

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    1. Thank you - it'll be great when they're always telling you how you are too :)

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  21. Fantastic post, and I totally agree.
    Had to smile at the "patient" bit, that one would not be added to my list either... ;o) xx

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    1. Thank you and I'm glad not to be alone with that bit :)

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  22. Mums are amazing and multitasking is what we do best! Excellent post.

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    1. You're right and no exceptions, thank you

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  23. Can I just say this is one of my ALL TIME favourite blog posts EVER! You are one wise and amazing lady! Thank you for this! *goes to print and place everywhere in the house! I'm a strong believer in omitting confidence even when you don't feel it (remember my first directing foray at 21 where that was OH so essential) and I want my kids to have positive body image/confidence and to respect women and in order to do that I always show that I respect myself!

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    1. Thank you so much. Am glad it resonates with you so powerfully and that you are already practising such strong messages. You're an inspiration too :)

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  24. Brilliant post and absolutely right, of course we must get them to focus on the positive so they in turn grow up positive thinkers, thanks for letting me have this for the britMums end of year Carnival

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    1. Thank you - it's so easy to be down on ourselves when there really is no need and we do need to encourage them to be upbeat about themselves. Thank you for including it in your Carnival :))

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  25. wonderful! I must try this... not the shed bit and the feeding the 5,000, not the fabulous bit. thank you - you've given me something to grab for 2014. X

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    1. Hope it goes well Gemma. You are fabulous though X

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