The Random Musings of a 50 Year Old.

It pains me to admit to turning 50 last month, but it is a milestone no longer possible to ignore. Copious celebrations marking the occasions over several weeks have seen to that.

However, one of the great things about acquiring age is the 'wisdom' that comes with it along the way.  Here's some of what I've learned.

Thank you Sarah Brewster and the boys!

When someone you love asks you to marry them, you shouldn't say 'No' just because you're only in your twenties and society says it's too young.  It is not too young.  You will never love that freely again.

Plus the dejected man might then slip into the sack of a stalking slapper, smashing your heart to smithereens.

When someone of questionable relationship history asks you to marry them you shouldn't say 'Yes' just because you're heading towards your forties and society says you should by now have been hitched.  Mistake.

Sort out your ingrowing toenails asap.

Travel.

You never see a happy jogger.

Always have a decent hairdresser.

Keep glue and a couple of screwdrivers handy in a kitchen drawer.

Only check how many calories are in something before you eat it, never afterwards.  It's a pointless spoiler.

The most intellectually challenging thing you might ever face is getting your children to want to do what you want them to do.

You're never too old to have your children.

You're never too young to have your children.

Invest in your family for the most decent returns you'll ever get.

Life is full of wonderful surprises.

Everyone has a story.

Ask more questions.

Make less judgments.

The best things in life really are free and you really can have too much of a good thing (except mango - you can't have too much mango.).

As such, all cliches are true.

There is nothing harder than being true to yourself.

But when you walk your own path in life, you meet your own people.

And always trust your gut instinct, no matter what your logic says.  One day, you will understand.

Meditation and medication both save lives.

Independence is overrated.

Those who tell you things you want to hear aren't necessarily your friends and those who tell you things you don't want to hear aren't necessarily your enemies (Terry Wogan).

Some souls you can't imagine can betray you in ways you can't imagine.

Doctors / workmen / people in general treat you with differing levels of respect when you wear smart suits and high heels vs. casual clothes and flats, a little eye make up vs. none, when you're younger vs. older, slimmer vs. fatter, when you're a high earner or a housewife, drive an expensive sports car, nothing or an old Focus and whether you're single, married or divorced.

Little kindnesses go a long way.

Sources of support can be astonishingly unexpected.

Certain individuals will lie in court.

Macho men are not real men, just bullies.

Lust and love are massively miles apart.

Once a woman has her claws into a man, you cannot remove them for him.

RAF Officers are not necessarily gentlemen.

Don't judge people by your own standards.

If it's taking you longer to find a suitable picture for a blogpost than it took to write the whole thing then it's not worth the bother.  It's never done Helen McGinn or Sonya Fran Cisco any harm whatsoever.

If you're trying to put together a collage of certain said celebrations but the whole thing completely defeats you, no-one will ever know.

Decorator's masking tape is SO worth the effort.

There's nothing worse than being in an unhealthy or unhappy marriage.

There is a difference between Domestic Abuse and Domestic Violence.

The moment you feel the need to justify yourself to someone is the moment to walk away from them, head held high.

Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway is a good motto to live by (and a good book by Susan Jeffers).

Chocolate isn't always the answer, but it's usually worth a try.

Some people don't have the privilege of living until they're 50.  Thank you to the friends and family who made my Birthday so memorable and special!  I love you all.

Which pearls of 'wisdom' would you add to this list?

I'm astounded and humbled to find myself shortlisted in the Writer's category for a Brilliance in Blogging Award!  Thank you very much to all of you who voted for me.  You can see the other semi-finalists and vote for those you'd like to put through to the finals HERE.

50 is the new 30.

I'm going to be 50 this year.  Don't know quite how to say that without it hurting or it making me reel.

The surprise is quite shocking.

Last year, it was ' next year,' the facing of it could be put off a while yet and it's not like I didn't know it was coming, but the truth is, I still feel so crap at everything.  

I didn't expect to be where I am in my life - struggling to make ends meet, stuck on the shelf, permanently exhausted and still shouting at the kids.

I thought it would mean something more sophisticated, that I might have 'made it' by now, got to where I'm going, that kind of thing.
    
Alas, it's nothing of the sort, but perspective comes from remembering those who have been taken away too young and not made it this far at all.  A close friend of mine survived a few days past her fortieth Birthday and another lost her husband when he was 46, so, for this, the fact I'm here, healthy (ish) and happy (ish) should be enough. 

Image- Dr Digi's

In an ideal world grabbing a great hotel deal somewhere wonderful would have been my first choice, just to kick back, relax and enjoy being waited on - because it's the least I would deserve, being so ancient, although anywhere hot would nowadays involve an intense amount of sun tan lotion slathering to prevent those tell tale age spots, tonnes of too much breathing in and awkward, clumsy clambering on and off loungers, seeing as stiffness so swiftly takes hold of stillness. 

Not that it would do to say no to one, obviously.  Nor to one nearer home, even.  However, c'est la vie and, having been spoilt rotten on such special occasions previously, I'm not complaining.  My 18th and 21sts were true and fitting Birthday bashes in Bournemouth and Jersey respectively, my 30th was spent cruising somewhere off Queensland, Australia (although the weather was pants and some were seasick, but not so bad it wasn't possible to sup some serious bubbles) and the morning of my 40th was spent at the Grand Hotel in Brighton with my then future husband before booking our future wedding and even though we all know the way that went, it had been exactly what I wanted to do on the day!  

Perhaps my 50th, therefore, marks the beginning of a new era.  It may be just the start of the second half of my life, which is not as inconceivable as one might imagine when my 97 year old Nan is still in fine form, as it's in the genes, so adventures anew might yet beckon.  She says she feels about 30 inside and with two such young children this might be much more of an appropriate age for me to be when they're the reason my life is organized chaos with less emphasis on the organized than one might expect of someone in my advanced years.  

It, therefore, seems fitting not to quash the common rumour that 50 really is the new 30, but please humour me while I get used to it.

How do you feel about getting older?  




Disclosure: This is a collaborative post, but all words are true and my own, obvs!