The Moment You Know Your Relationship is Over.

For quite some time I've been fancying a column somewhere, but don't really have the confidence to go shouting about it.  I've trusted that, in time, the shocking statistics and my credibility would come together, that the need for a voice to represent single parents fairly and responsibly would make itself known, that we'd shrug off this worn out cliche of who we are supposed to be and we'd finally be heard in our real light and right.

Six months after I first started blogging, netmums ran a week called Busting the Myths about single parents, which I was proud to spearhead and, indeed, they have always been a tremendous support to all parents, regardless of their status, so I asked if I could write some stuff for them and their response was that they would be honoured to have me!

My first piece is called 'The Moment You Know.'  It's about when we realise our relationship with our partner truly is over and there's no going back, how the breaking point is generally a long time coming and not always really obvious or cut and dried, but, for every separated parent out there, it will have come.  Several people have contributed to it.

As we approach Christmas, for too many families, some enforced togetherness will bring strained times to a head.  I wanted to explain why some of us just can't carry on sometimes, why we don't deserve judgment or pity, but credit for the courage it takes to make the break and how, when children are involved, none of us leaves until our conscience allows.

I would love to know your thoughts too and thank you all for your support!

Image courtesy of netmums.

Be Safe, Be Seen Campaign.

I don't know about you, but the words 'Children' and 'Funeralcare' in near enough the same sentence gives me the Heebie Jeebies - to the extent that they almost put me off writing this post.  But then I realised that's why it had to be done, because, thank the Lord, in this instance, it's for all the right reasons.

Now that the clocks have gone back The Co-operative Funeralcare have launched their national Be Safe, Be Seen campaign.  They work with primary schools all over the country, donating yellow high visibility reflective pin-badges designed to keep young children safe when the dark nights arrive.

This is what they say - “Over the past 5 years we have given out over 160,000 badges to 1,500 schools and youth groups. We also deliver school assemblies or lessons about road safety prepared by road safety charity Brake for children between the ages of 3 and 7 years.”

I'm always nagging my kids about being careful of driveways when they're running or scooting off and how careful and clever we have to be regarding traffic while we're out and about, so welcome any oppotunity to raise their awareness about road safety.  Experience has shown these activities with schools are successful and they've released this 'brilliant' (according to my boys) video which spells out great points in a language that has hopefully had an impact bigger than my unladylike bellowing at them.  

I don't know why they need to be convinced by computerised images, but, let's face it, most children respond to them and anything that reinforces how important it is to think more about how to be safe and be seen can only do good.  

Here are the some of the tips covered, but I really recommend roping the youngsters in for a watch which wasn't even wasted on my nine year old!     

• Look out for and encourage your children to be aware of hidden entrances or driveways when crossing pavements.
• Make sure your children walk on the side of pavements away from the traffic.
• When crossing the road your child should always choose a safe place and time to cross. It’s always safer to cross at a pedestrian or patrolled crossing.
• Avoid crossing between parked cars as drivers won’t be able to see children who do this very well.
• It’s important to stop at the kerb, look both ways and listen to traffic before crossing. Pedestrian crossings can still be dangerous if care is not taken.
• All pedestrians should wait on the pavement until all the traffic from both directions has stopped as this is the safest time to cross. Islands are often provided in the middle of the road, so children should treat each half as a separate crossing.
• Children should avoid playing near busy roads as they can often forget their surroundings and become unaware of the dangers on the road.

You can read more about the Be Safe, Be Seen campaign and order free badges for your childrens' and other local schools on their site - HERE or, as we did, pop into your local  Co-op Funeralcare branch and organize them from there.  Plus, if you would like to add your support via @CoopFuneralcare and / or @TheCooperative, that would be appreciated.  

Let's keep the words 'Children' and 'Funeralcare' in near enough the same sentence for all the right reasons.  

Thank you. 

 
  This is a Netmum's sponsored review.To find out more click the button:

Official Disclosure - I am a member of the Netmums Blogging Network, a unique community of parent bloggers from around the UK who have been handpicked by the Netmums team to review products and brands on their behalf. I may have been paid expenses and have been supplied with a product sample for this review, but retain all editorial control. All my Netmums Reviews will display the Netmums logo within the post.

Single Mums' Stories - My Own.

Anya Harris (47).

Hi to all new readers from Netmums Busting the Myths Single Mums Week.  Welcome to my blog.

Here I write, mainly as a mother, not necessarily as a single one - our issues are probably similar(!) - and with a wry outlook on life that a certain age can bring, i.e. the wrong side of forty.  Or is it the right side, really?

Anyway, I have been collecting stories from other (older) single mums in a wish to dispel the myth we're all teenagers, scroungers and immoral.  This series has been ground-breaking enough - without judgement for youngsters that end up in  free Council Accommodation (because I can include someone very close to home who had no other option temporarily herself) - that Netmums have decided to run their own themed week dedicated to all single parents.

My blog is still young and finding its way. It's self-deprecating look at having children later on, together with more ordinary occurrences and, more recently, the odd review (relevant to it) make it up.  Plus, there is the added joy of a gorgeous new boyfriend to write about, if we're not too old to actually use that expression, challenging the notion that I am a single mum at all!

However, the wonderful ladies who have told us why they are/were single, and the approaches they take/took towards the unexpected turns in their lives, add weight and homage to what we're about:  Check out Sarah (St Bloggie de Riviere) Hague, no longer single, living in France and many of us know the famous Annie (Mammasaurus) Spratt, who writes a shocker of a tale.  We can take comfort that she is happily married to Papasaurus now and, in addition to her eight children, has given birth to the amazing and incredible Love All Blogs, which grows every day in every conceivable direction - a true reflection of this inspiring woman.

We have Mel (HerMelness Speaks) Fargo and my Anonymous friend, both of whom were widowed and write surprisingly differently about their views and their individual circumstances.

Kairen (Confessions of a Single Mum) Varker is an old hand at this blogging malarchy and a leading light, plus the outrageous Katy (All Sweetness and Life) Horwood takes time off from her serial dating stories to tell us why she consciously became a Single Mum.

Ellen (In a Bun Dance ) Arnison gives us her tips, ever the consummate professional, as is Rosie Scribble who gives us an incredible insight into how narrow minded some people can be - even those with 'influence!'

My story - the shortened version is the one published on Netmums now.  However it's quite a different one telling itself here, evolving and moving on as I manage to.

There's a bit about my shitty Ex-Husband, followed by the first few diaries / columns I wrote in those early days [- if you have the stamina? -  1) It's Terrifying! 2) Eating Standing Up!] then the most exciting stuff starts with my lodger and whether this Landlady is a Tramp.

There's a bit about Romance, an addiction to Radio 2, plus plenty else, including a link to the Gingerbread Organization, an extremely longstanding, much respected Charity that helps Single Parents with advice, practical support and public campaigns.

If you're simple like me  you're not used to the blogging world, you can just scroll around and stay as long as you like.  Comments are always appreciated.

And if you enjoy our shenanigans, please don't forget to subscribe at the top of the page - it's free!